Graves into Gardens | Part I — Kylee Ann Smith

Where flowers bloom so does HOPE.

It is with a heavy heart that I write this blog post. I wish this wasn’t the case. I wish I wasn’t writing this post because that would mean I wouldn’t have lost yet another incredible woman in my life. But we can wish all day long and that does us no good. But instead of wishing, let’s hope. Let’s lean on the hope we find in Jesus and the promises He has for our lives. The difference between wishing and hope is why I can still find joy in the grief. Back in December, I wrote a blog post months after Nana passed about how I learned there is so much freedom in knowing grief and joy can coexist. Today, I share another part of my story, a piece of my heart, and a bit of my grief journey with you in hopes it encourages you to keep choosing, chasing, and believing joy in the grief, heartache, or stormy season you might find yourself in right now.

Life has plenty of ups and downs but the one thing that was the same yesterday, is the same today and will be the same tomorrow, is God. (Hebrews 13:8) And I don’t know about you, but in that I find comfort, peace, and hope that no matter what life throws me, I can find hope in the same consistent person, savior, and life-giver.

Most of you know, but I lost my sweet Nana last year unexpectedly (May 2020) and now my sweet Grandma unexpectedly last week. You probably also know I prayed for 10 months to move back to Adelaide, South Australia and God made it possible this past February. After a 10 month waiting season to move back down under, I am finally here. However, as my Grandma went to be with Jesus, I have never wanted to be back in the states so bad. I am 10,000 miles away from family, grieving and I just want to be somewhere I prayed to leave for 10 months. Isn’t it funny how things like that work? BUT I do know there is purpose in the pain. As it breaks my heart to not be home with my family to celebrate my Grandma’s beautiful life, I know I am here for a reason and purpose. So clinging tight to the people God has placed in my life here in Australia and the purpose and calling He has for me down under.

My sweet friend Mel surprised me with these gorgeous sunflowers to brighten my day after she learned my grandma went to be with Jesus. She sent them to remind me of the hope we have in Jesus & the joy each new day brings. Her card stated, “sunflowers face the sun in order to grow. As sunflowers mature, they no longer chase the direction of the sun, they face eastward - leaning towards the direction of the sunrise. As the sun sets & the darkness of the night (heartache + grief) comes, we are reminded that daylight follows the darkest part of the night & joy comes in the morning.” This was a perfectly timed reminder that joy comes in the morning. She was right, with each new day, comes new mercies, new joy, and new life. JOY comes in the morning. This sparked my HOPE again. The HOPE I find in Jesus and the HOPE we have for this weekend, Easter weekend and lastly the HOPE I have that one day I will be reunited with my Grandma and Nana. So as I sat in my grief this week, my sweet friend Mel’s intentional gift encouraged me so much that I wanted to encourage you.

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning – Psalm 30:5

Grief is a journey. You never “GET OVER” grief. There isn’t an END. With time, prayer & hope, grief gets easier, but it doesn’t end. Kind of like the HOPE we have for heaven. With this kind of hope we don’t have to worry about the END; because God lives within our hearts, we will live with Him for eternity. So for me, it was a simple and meaningful gift that sparked my HOPE again. After entering into my first season of grief after Nana died, I leaned on my faith and fixed my eyes on Jesus. As I enter yet another grief journey, much like sunflowers, I feel as if my grief journey has matured. So although, I never will stop chasing the direction of the sun and Jesus, I do feel like I’ve started to face the direction of the sunrise; the direction of hope, new days & the joy that the morning brings.

You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy. - John 16:20

So as I stare at my beautiful sunflowers while writing this and one of my favorite worship songs play in the background, I am reminded how cool it is that God truly turns graves into….

He turns mourning into dancing. Sorrow into JOY. My Grandma and Nana are dancing with Jesus, so I celebrate them, our memories & rejoice with them on this side of heaven. I pray and hope if you are struggling with grief that you fix your eyes in the direction of light, keep your eyes on the sunrise & lean into Jesus and the peace and strength He provides.